Dear Ms Anonymous,
Do you ever feel like the world wouldn’t accept you, if they knew who you really are? Are you constantly becoming a chameleon to fit in with the people around you? It’s time to focus on self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is a journey
We are all on a journey through this thing called life. Highs and lows are part of it. Sometimes we feel good about ourselves, and where we are in our lives. And other times we may not be so confident. It’s okay. That’s all part of the journey.
Self-acceptance is your satisfaction with yourself, as you are right now. And just because there are things you want to improve, doesn’t meant that you don’t accept yourself! It means, that you are working on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.
The challenge comes when we feel like we have to fix parts of ourselves. The term ”fix” implies brokenness. Remember what I said about the words we use, and the impact they have on our lives? We have to start using more positive words, so that we can feel more positive about ourselves. It’s good for our mental health!
Self-acceptance through “fixing”
Personally, I feel like there’s a difference between the word fixing, and changing. Let me explain. Like I said above – when I use the word fix, it’s because something is broken. Either I broke something, or someone else caused it to break, or it’s damaged in some way.
Wow – the word damaged! Isn’t that such a powerful, but negative, word. Have you ever used the word damaged to define yourself? A lot of people in abusive relationships may consider themselves damaged goods after they finally break free.
What would happen if we dropped the word damaged from our personal dictionary? And decided that we need to love ourselves through the hurt and pain that we have experienced.
It’s time that we started loving ourselves as we are right now. Especially if you are working on making life changes. Allow yourself to be a work in progress! Because that’s all we are.
Seeing self-acceptance as a challenge
We so often limit ourselves, and the things we can accomplish because we place conditions on our lives. I need to fix X before I can do Y.
In my own life I’ve struggled with acne. And sometimes, I really have trouble liking and looking at my face in pictures. So, I tell myself, I have to get rid of my acne before I can post a selfie on social media. When in reality – I don’t.
What would happen if I just posted a picture of my face, acne and all, on social media? Would my friends all unfriend me? No. Would I be ridiculed by people I don’t know? Possibly, but I could choose not to let it affect me. (I know, it’s hard!) Follow me on Instagram today!
The truth is, we are our harshest critic! What I see in the mirror, and what other people see when they look at me are completely different. And if I stop allowing my acne to be such a major part of my life’s definition, I can move past the need to have “the perfect picture” to post.
You know what I’ve learned this year – people want to know the real me… and the real you, too! And we shouldn’t hide behind a filter, or a mask to create a persona. We should just be our authentic selves. Even if we’re still learning, and changing.
Allow yourself to fully take in the journey
Here are two steps to allow self-acceptance to take root in your life.
- Be okay with who you are right now.
- Be excited about who you are becoming.
Being okay with who you are right now and being excited about who you are becoming are both part of the journey.
We are all imperfect people. Believing that we should aspire to be different, to fix ourselves, and change to be someone that we have no desire to be, is not helpful. We should all aspire to be the best versions of who we want to be.
It is up to each and every one of us to create our self-concept. When we look at our lives in terms of our goals, and the person we are becoming – it’s so important that we are deciding for ourselves. You will never accept yourself if who you are is defined by someone else. And if you are trying to become someone else, you’ll never accept yourself either.
Becoming a chameleon to fit in
There are so many times in our lives that we feel like we have to be a chameleon to fit in with those around us. We mirror the people that we spend the most time with so that they remain our friends. At work we walk, talk, dress, and act like the ones who look “successful” to us. At school we want to sit at the cool kids table, so we act like they do, even if it’s unfavorable.
We’ve been doing it our whole lives. We want to fit in, instead of stand out. Sometimes, we may find that we even shrink ourselves, to give someone else the spotlight, or because we don’t want the spotlight on us.
You have permission to be your authentic self. A chameleon is not who you want to be.
The only person you can ever be, and should ever want to be, is you!
With love,
P.S. – Decide today that you are going to live your authentic life, walking through your journey, accepting who you are, and excited about who you are becoming. On your own terms.
I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be the chameleon. So that I would fit in. So that everybody would like me. It’s taken a long time to realize that I just have to be me.
Yes!! Being ourselves is the only person we can be!!
I have always wanted to be a chameleon. I never wanted to be in the spotlight. But everything about me makes me stand out. I learning to be content and comfortable in my skin. Nobody else could be me.
Yes!! Learning to be comfortable in your skin is so essential to becoming the person you want to be. We have to accept ourselves in order to thrive!
Authenticity! Yes! This is what we need to strive for, and remembering that Christ died on the cross fo us as we are… if our creator said we’re worth it, the that is a promise you can take to the bank!
So true! Our daily reminder that we are worth it.