Dear Ms Anonymous,
Have you been struggling with finding your purpose in life?
It seems everywhere I turn people are asking about how to find their purpose in life. Like it’s the keys to their car that they have misplaced.
Here’s the honest truth about finding your purpose? It’s not going to happen overnight. And also, it takes hard work. Plus, your purpose can and will change over the course of your lifetime.
The end.
Just kidding.
A pro discusses finding his purpose
In my goals, hopes and dreams for this blog, I will only feature women of influence who have great messages for us. Since this is a women’s empowerment blog, I would really love for all of the high level messages that I share with you to come from women.
However, I’m not at the point yet where I have so many female influencers in my back pocket that I can choose from. Of course there are tons of them out there, but sometimes I like to just hit up my classics. Life is already hard and complicated enough. Sometimes you have to go with old faithful.
So, today, I bring you a message about finding your purpose from my favorite motivator and influencer, Jay Shetty! Jay was interviewed about 2 years ago on Impact Theory on an episode appropriately titled “How to Find Your Purpose“.
Jay shares his journey of how living with and becoming a monk helped him find his purpose. How many of us get such a great opportunity? Many of us would probably never consider it because being a monk requires real dedication and commitment to meditation, not sleeping a lot of hours, and service. But for Jay, his first encounter with a monk is what sparked the beginning of a transformation. Which led to him being able to hear his own voice!
Forging your own path
Jay grew up in the type of culture, similar to the one where I grew up, where “you’re either a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure.” I don’t think my parents were that limited in the career choices they saw for me. But I remember my father sitting me down one day and saying here are the approved options for college majors that we’re going to pay for.
Sigh… the choices were not really anything that I was passionate about. But I wanted their support, emotionally and financially, so I went with it. Actually, I had been “going with it” my whole life pretty much, until now.
Essentially, although very well meaning in their eyes, Jay’s parents, and mine, were trying to create our identity. It was an identity that they saw as valuable, without even asking us what we wanted. And isn’t that what we are constantly doing? Trying to find our identity in others, and seeking approval from everyone around us. Even those that we don’t know.
That’s not the way you will find your purpose though!
According to Jay, the best way to find your purpose is to first be open to new experiences and new role models. When we are always surrounded by the same type of people, be it our family, friends, co-workers, etc. we start to conform our minds to their ways of thinking. Instead, we need to branch out of what we know, so that we can see what else is out there!
The second step in this process, Jay says, is to take the experiment seriously! Just like he did with his experiment with becoming a monk. He would have never learned how monks live, if he didn’t fully immerse himself in the lifestyle.
Lastly, make a decision if that lifestyle is for you or not. Make the decision for yourself, by yourself.
Find purpose through self-awareness
Jay urges us to find our purpose through self-awareness. It is by learning about ourselves, and knowing ourselves, that we can figure out what our purpose is in this world.
One of the biggest struggles we have with self-awareness is that we are surrounded by so much noise. How can we possibly hear our own voice if we are drowning in the voices of everyone else? In order to become self-aware, you have to get into the quiet of your life. Start to listen deeply to what is going on inside of you. And begin to distinguish between your voice, and the noise. Learn to quiet your mind, and silence the noise, so that your voice can shine through.
In order to find our purpose, Jay suggests we look at “the head, the heart, and the hand.” It’s so creative and spot on! Here’s the breakdown: the head is knowing what you want out of life; the heart is understanding your deeper vision; and the hand is providing a service (paying it forward).
When the head, the heart, and the hand are all in alignment – then you have found your passion, and your purpose.
Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others.
Jay Shetty
Let’s start with passion
In the episode, Jay provides us with two paths to finding our passion.
The first path is something that I’ve just started learning about: ikigai. Ikigai is the Japanese concept that means “reason for being”. That is, your direction or purpose in life.
When you find the intersection between what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for… that’s when you have found your purpose! So, in order to unlock your purpose, you first have to discover your passion!
Another way Jay tells us that we can find our passion is by just helping people and seeing what we enjoy. We will then start to understand what it is that we can actually help people with. And what we are good at helping people with!
You will find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others.
Ghandi
For me, I’ve found that I’m really good at motivating and inspiring people. Hence, this blog! Jay is actually one of my mentors, because he has been inspiring me every day since I first saw one of his viral videos! He’s on a mission to make wisdom go viral – which I would say he’s doing great at! Jay Shetty definitely has found his passion, and purpose.
So, how do you know when you’ve found your purpose?
You’ve found your purpose when you are living in your passion, doing what you love, and serving others! It doesn’t always have to be connected to being paid – and sometimes, it won’t be.
I found my purpose in serving people through volunteering starting in my teenage years. The high school I attended required us to do volunteer hours. And that’s when I realized I loved inspiring and motivating people. I’ve been inspiring and motivating people for years – and for years, I didn’t get paid. But now, as a coach, that is something that I can get paid for!
You’ll know that you’ve found your purpose when you begin to shine on the inside and out. When you feel like you are doing what you were always meant to be doing. There’s no external pressure to do what you “should” be doing. You are doing something that you love. You are thriving, instead of just surviving. Your energy is feeling high. You are surrounded by people who are similar to you, and believe in your capabilities.
But will my purpose remain the same forever?
No, your purpose will not remain the same forever. As you grow and change, and life events happen, you may have to pivot your life because of your responsibilities. You may learn something new that becomes your passion, and then you turn that into your purpose.
Life may throw you a curveball, such as a relative becoming ill, or you may become pregnant, and you now have to do something different from what you were doing. And then you discover something that might have been missing from your life for a while, and you become captivated and it becomes your passion.
This month I will be featuring some women who found their passion, and made that into their purpose. Their stories are real, raw, emotional, exciting, and invigorating. They show the possibilities for having the life you really want, and going after your dreams. Even when life throws you a curve ball. These women are proof that you have a purpose, and you can live it, day in and day out.
I can’t wait for you to read their stories.
With love,
P.S. – Share this post with a friend who has been searching for their purpose!