Reimagining your body image

Dear Ms Anonymous,

Have you ever thought about how two common household items could bring such negativity to our lives? But is it really that the mirror and scale are the problem, or are we the problem?

In today’s post we are going to talk about the touchy subject of body image.

Defining body image

A quick search on Google revealed that “body image is a person’s perception of their physical self and the thoughts and feelings, positive, negative, or both, which result from that perception.”

So, it’s quite the complex subject. Not only is it what you are seeing in the mirror. It’s also how you think and feel about what you are seeing. That just adds an extra layer of complexity.

It starts in the mirror and in the mind

One of the major issues with body image is that it greatly depends on how you feel about your body. Your thoughts play a very powerful part in how you see yourself: physically, and emotionally.

A woman who is very self-confident probably has a positive body image. When she looks in the mirror, she may not focus on the flaws. And when she steps on the scale, she may not obsess over the number she sees.

Women with a positive body image have mastered their mind enough to not let what they see in the mirror make them feel negatively about everything else in their lives. They don’t allow themselves to spiral out of control because they have one pimple, or have gained a pound since the last time they weighed themselves.

But for a woman with a negative body image, both the mirror and the scale can be very big triggers for them. And the negative self-talk that accompanies both of those items, can be overwhelming.

Sadly, it’s very hard to overcome the mind when you’re not happy with the image you see in the mirror, or the number on the scale. However, overcoming your mind is the best thing you can start doing for yourself. Learn to look for your beauty first, and loving your body, in order to grow confidently into yourself.

Overcoming body shaming

Although we have been making critical comments about our bodies for decades, the term “body shaming“ is relatively new. Making humiliating comments about a person’s body size or weight is never acceptable.

No one should have to endure body shaming.

I found this video that I posted on Facebook a few years ago to be such a harsh reality of how we damage the body image of our daughters, from a very young age. When our daughters, or the young girls around us, hear all of the negative things we say about our own bodies, they start to believe that it’s true, and they mimic that negative self-talk as well!

By shaming our own bodies, we teach them to start doing the same, and also that it’s okay. When it’s not!

Becoming body positive

Instead of focusing on the things we don’t like about our bodies, and other people’s bodies, wouldn’t we feel better if we celebrated our bodies? Do you realize that your body was created and functions as a machine that helps you do everything in the world you want to do?

Consider for a moment what your body endured during all of its years of life so far? You’ve learned to walk, play sports, compete in rigorous activities. If you’re a mother, you may have carried and birthed a child! The body is an amazingly wonderful machine that we don’t even take the time to appreciate!

The truth is we all have something we could complain about when we look in the mirror, or step on a scale. What if we just replaced all of those complaints, with complements?

Sadly, we don’t fill ourselves with complements because we are waiting for someone else to do that for us! Now that is a practice we must stop immediately!

Go look in the mirror, and even if you don’t believe it yet, say “Damn, I’m beautiful!” After repeating it for a few days or weeks, you will start to change your inner narrative, and become body positive. Begin using repetitive affirmations in the form of self-complements.

Body image and media messaging

It is so frustrating the correlation between a negative body image and media messaging. From the time we are young, we are bombarded with messages about what we should look like! We should be skinny, have long hair, have straight hair, have clear skin… the list goes on and on!

But what if you don’t!?! Are you some lesser human? No! You are not! You are no less beautiful because you don’t fit into society’s construct or definition of beauty.

Thank goodness Mattel has finally gotten the message and evolved the Barbie doll! Now on the shelves you won’t just find the Barbie that is a skinny toothpick with long blonde hair and perfect features. Finally, Barbies come in different colors, shapes, and even professions! It’s about damn time!

With the inventions of Photoshop and airbrushing, it is so hard to look at a picture these days and know what is fact, and what is fiction. When we take pictures we feel like we have to be in the perfect light, show our “good side” and use a filter that will just make us look radiant. We have altered our look so much that we become so dissatisfied with what’s real.

And the magazine industry has been taking advantage of these techniques for decades – selling a false sense of confidence, perfection, and beauty. Who needs it? Why not show some real women? Both the current generation of women, and the girls who are growing need to see real women!

Dove’s Self-Esteem Project

I’m so proud of Dove for their self-esteem project! Their campaign aims to inspire confidence, instead of anxiety, when it comes to beauty. Dove has designed a self-esteem workshop which has been delivered by over 625,000 teachers and engaged more than 1.5 million parents with their online content. Yes! This is crucial work!

If we don’t start creating a generation of women who are filled with body confidence and self-esteem, the future is doomed! It’s time for us to learn how to change our narrative from negative comments about ourselves and others. We need to build ourselves and others up, instead!

Changing the way youth think of body image

From my research on the topic in preparation for writing this blog post, I found Proud2BMe – an online community for and by young people who want to change the way they talk about food, weight and body image. The goal is to challenge the ways in which our bodies are told to exist in society. Mostly “thin” or “beautiful”. But should we let someone else decide how “thin” or how to define our “beauty”?

I’m glad that the conversation on body image is expanding and becoming more inclusive, in the way that more people are getting involved in the conversation. When we challenge the fashion houses with questions like, “where are the plus-size models?” we start a new dialogue that creates room for change. And when we stop focusing on the size number on the tag, then we can confidently step into an outfit, without thinking “I hate being a size 10.”

Changing our narrative surrounding body image

When we decide to change our personal narrative, we will start to feel more body confident. If we can begin to focus on one thing we like about our bodies, we open up our minds to find more things we like. When we give ourselves, and the people around us complements on their body or style, we create a community of women who feel good about themselves.

This is how we create a positive body image. It starts with one positive thought.

I challenge you to find just one thing you like about your body every day for the next 30 days, and write it down. At the end of the 30 days, go read your list. See if you don’t start feeling good about yourself!

And if you struggle with seeing perfect pictures on Instagram and comparing yourself to them, just close the app. I know, it’s so much harder than just putting your phone down for a minute.

But I do know this, when you are constantly comparing yourself to others, you’ll always find reasons to criticize yourself. Instead, try focusing on your own self in a positive way for a little while. When you feel better about yourself, then go back on social media. You’ll be better able to appreciate what you’ve got, when you’re not hyper-focused on what you don’t!

With love,

P.S. – Between the mirror and the scale exists so many lies. When we change what we focus on to the positives, we can start to feel good about who we are.