Removing the labels of society

Dear Ms Anonymous,

Have you ever thought about the meaning of labels and how they affect us? Do you feel like you have been given a label or put into a box?

Labels keep us attached

When I think about labels, the first thing that comes to mind is the one that is stitched onto the item of clothing that I am wearing. The garment making industry uses labels to show their brand, and care instructions. On most garments they are attached in the worst places. And often the care instructions are in such fine print that you can’t even read them!

I’ve found that the labels that society gives us are quite similar. If we actually take them on, they are in the worst light. When I think of a label that society gives to people, it’s never a positive thing! There’s always a negative connotation in there. She’s a “people-pleaser”, he’s a “vagrant”, she’s a “trophy wife”, he’s a “deadbeat dad.”

And when we take on these labels, even in the smallest way, they keep us attached to that negative meaning. We, unfortunately, rise up and play the part. Sometimes we do it on purpose – “well, if that’s who they think I am, then that’s who I’ll be.” And sometimes we just can’t seem to get away from it. We fall into the same trap and pattern every single time. We’ve attached that label to ourselves.

Labels show others how to care for us

The labels that we take on also show other people how they should care for us. If, for example, you’re labeled as “sensitive” – then the people around you might treat you with kid gloves, and not want to engage you in difficult conversations. They think you can’t handle it, or that you’re “fragile” in some way.

Or, if you’ve had a rough upbringing and you’ve built up a tough exterior because of your experiences, people may label you as “thug.” And they may think that you are involved in unsavory activities, and label the people you hang out with as “the wrong crowd.”

The bad thing about labels is that they pigeon hole you into something that you might not want to even be a part of.

By getting to know someone on a deeper level, we can see them for their true selves. Instead of the labels that may have been placed on them by society.

Removing society’s labels

The difference between labels on clothing, and the ones we wear on ourselves is visibility. The ones on clothing are visible for everyone to see. Often, we wear society’s labels emotionally, and allow them to be like a permanent badge that we carry.

And so often we wear a label so long, that we forget it’s even there. It’s in our subconscious, affecting our decisions, and we don’t even realize it. We’ve attached the label so deep to our core that it’s engrained in our values, and belief systems. Sadly, we come to know ourselves through these labels, and don’t see a different way.

What would happen if we removed society’s labels from ourselves? How would our lives change if we decided that starting today, we no longer have to carry that label like a badge of honor or pride?

When we decide that we no longer want to fit into a construct of society, we can start to see ourselves in our real light. If we don’t have to be that round peg, trying to fit into a square hole, we can try to find where we do fit it. Instead, we should create spaces of inclusion where you don’t have to look, talk, or act a specific way to be included.

How does the perception of others impact your success?

I was having a conversation about this with a trusted friend the other day. And I’ve come to realize that the way other people see us, is so impactful to the way we see ourselves. More than that, it impacts our success!

When people see us in a positive light, we are more likely to take that positivity and turn it into something great! However, when they see us negatively, sometimes, instead of challenging that, we take that on. Doing so can lead us into a downward spiral.

But just like definitions given to us by others, we should not allow how people perceive us to create our reality. It is for us to create the reality that we want for our lives. If you’ve been labeled as something, you can choose to either take that label, or turn it down.

I want to challenge you to remove the labels. Stop allowing other people to define who you are. You get to decide how you are going to show up in the world.

With love,

P.S. – If you have to wear a label – choose the best ones you can! Choose quality, instead of vanity. Your self-confidence depends on it!