I tried to write about getting over fear and failed

/ Getting to Know Me, Inspiring You / By

Dear Ms Anonymous,

Do you ever feel like you are the only one who struggles with something? Especially when it’s something that you’re “supposed to be good at”?

Sometimes we fail at things we try, it’s okay! Don’t allow fear to be the reason you don’t try in the first place.

I failed at writing about getting over fear

A funny thing happened recently. I tried to write a post about fear, and I had an epic fail! No, it’s not because I don’t feel fear. If someone tells you that they don’t feel fear, you go ahead and call their bluff. Because they would be lying.

The reason why I failed is that I actually have overcome some fears lately, except for one big one. The post I was attempting to write was about how to feel your fear, and use courage to help you do it anyway. It’s a post that I’ve been wanting to write for a while now.

But what kind of imposter would I be, if I wrote about how to feel fear and do it anyway, but wasn’t actually doing the hard thing I was afraid of!?!

So, I hit a roadblock. I couldn’t possibly write the article that I wanted to write, without doing the hard thing.

What is my fear?

So, probably for the majority of my teen to adult life I have been terrified of public speaking. Whenever I would have to go up and give a presentation in front of a class, my anxiety would go through the roof.

Some people I know might call me a perfectionist. I’m not really right now, but growing up, I definitely liked things to be perfect. Especially for school. But the idea of getting up in front of a class terrified me. I don’t really like the spotlight, and I was really shy growing up.

But there’s no real way to get around talking in front of other people. I could raise my hand from my seat and talk, but actually going up to stand in front of the class, or behind a podium, was just not attractive to me. It still isn’t.

Thankfully these days, I don’t have to do much in regards with presentations. I can get through my day with just talking 1-1 or in small groups. There aren’t a lot of opportunities to stand up and give a presentation. I’m not sure why I call them opportunities – if I saw them that way, perhaps they would be easier for me to do.

How failing helped me succeed

Lately, I have a calling on my heart though to talk to more women. I started the year with the goal of having more meaningful conversations. And I’ve actually been doing that! 1 on 1 conversations with strangers used to be hard for me, but I got past that, and now I really enjoy them!

You see, the things that you fail at, you can actually use them as an opportunity for success. Right now, I could choose to continue to stay safe, and never put my face on camera and share a message through a video. But that’s not who I am.

I told you earlier this year that I’m driven. And I’m working on being bold. I redefined myself in that way for 2020. So, onwards I must proceed. In order for me to be bold, I must try new things. Including things that scare the daylights out of me.

Here’s the thing, if I was always good at being on camera, and speaking in large groups, I probably wouldn’t have started a blog called Dear Ms Anonymous. The truth is, through this blog I have had to take a long hard look at myself. And since I no longer want to be Ms Anonymous, I have to push myself to raise my confidence. So I must try to do the things that scare me the most.

I issued myself a challenge to create short videos of myself for about 15 days, and post them on Instagram. Yes, on social media, where there are millions of people who can see it, and critique it. I post a video of myself talking about my fear of public speaking, and work through my fear.

Using courage to get past the fear

This definitely is an act of courage, and an act of God. Because honestly, there’s no way that I would have been able to do this 6 months ago. When I first started this blog, I didn’t think I had anything to say… and definitely not on camera, posted on the internet where other people could watch it. No way, no how. Not me.

But in order for me to coach and empower you to do hard things, I have to use courage to do hard things myself. I have to show up for you, because I want you to start showing up for yourself. My goal is to teach you to use your voice. And by using mine, I’m helping you see that although it’s hard (and it is hard), it’s possible!

So, if there’s a hard thing that you’ve always wanted to do… I want to help you. I want to work with you to figure out what it is that is holding you back. And together, let’s see how we can get past it. Let’s use courage to take baby steps forward. And then let’s celebrate our progress along the way!

Every baby steps moves us away from our fear, and towards our goals. Together we can achieve anything we want. Let’s do this.

With love,

P.S. – Isn’t it time you faced your fears head on? Use every ounce of courage you can to take the first baby step, and then the next. Don’t worry – I’ll be here to catch you if you fail.

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