The #1 Reason Fear Keeps Us From Our Future

Dear Ms Anonymous,

Do you ever feel like fear is taking over your life? Like you can’t move forward because fear is holding you back from achieving all of your dreams?

I want to spend some time discussing fear because it’s so real for each and every one of us. As children were more brave, than we were afraid. Somehow throughout growing up we start to become scared of so many things.

Our fears hold us back from our future!

What is fear?

If we look at the definition of fear we learn that it is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” We give so much power to that emotion.

In our minds we have created this monster that is going to kill us. When in reality, the things that we are afraid of most of the time have nothing to do with life or death.

What are some things you fear? Failure? Success? The unknown? None of those things create life or death situations.

There are a few fears, however, that are actual threats to our lives – actually dying, and drowning, for example.

Why does fear keep us from our future?

The number one reason fear keeps us from our future, is that when we feel fear, we believe that it means we have to stop. Don’t take one more step. We start to panic. Our anxiety rises. We decide it’s not worth it. And we give up.

That’s what fear does to us. But we don’t have to continue to allow that!

Identify and challenge what scares us

It’s useful for us to be able to identify what is causing our fear. Because when we identify it, then we can work on moving past it. When we really analyze what we are afraid of, what we’ll discover is that it’s not fear at all. It’s a thought we are having that is controlling our minds and emotions.

Let’s look at 3 common thoughts that spark fear about our future, and how we can challenge and move past them.

1. I’m afraid to fail. (Fear of failure)
   • What if instead we believed that failure is a path to success. If we never try anything, we never know if we will be successful or not!
2. What happens when I succeed? (Fear of success)
   • This is the imposter syndrome sparking fear here. The imposter syndrome wants to put you in your lowly place. But remember, that’s not where you belong. You were created to be successful, and achieve great things! So, don’t allow that little voice to keep you from your success. Keep moving forward. With each step, you will silence that voice because you’re showing how much you can do!
3. What if I’m not good enough? (Fear of rejection)
   • Relationships are a major part of life. And somewhere you might have heard that you weren’t tall enough, pretty enough, smart enough, whatever enough. But, those people were all wrong about you. You are more than enough!

Proceed with courage into your future

Isn’t it time that we chose courage instead? When I think about powerful words, courage is definitely one of them. Courage reminds me of a warrior – a person who is ready and willing to fight.

Instead of running away or stopping when we run into something that we’re scared of, why not proceed confidently by using courage?

We know that the truth is most likely whatever we are afraid of isn’t actually going to kill us. What would happen if every time we felt fear we asked ourselves, “what’s the worst that can happen?” And then at least we make a logical decision about it.

Let’s use the 3 examples above and see what’s the worst that could possibly happen.

1. I’m afraid to fail. What if my business doesn’t succeed?
   • The worst that can happen is you would have a business idea that didn’t work out, and possibly lose money. The good news is, you can always try to find new ways to bring in revenue to your business, or start a new business venture. Just because one business fails, doesn’t mean they all will. And just because one idea didn’t work out, doesn’t mean your next one won’t be amazing! Keep moving forward.
2. What happens when I succeed? Who am I to succeed?
   • The worst that can happen is you allow the imposter syndrome to keep you from your success. Once you learn to control your thoughts, and remind yourself of your past achievements, the imposter syndrome will poke it’s head in less and less. Remember that you create your own success. And when you succeed, your self-confidence and self-esteem will rise. You will then want to create more success for yourself. Keep moving forward.
3. What if I’m not good enough? Will I be alone forever?
   • The worst that can happen is that you remain single forever. That means you get to control how your life goes, do whatever you want, when you want. No one to tell you to do this or that. Doesn’t sound so bad does it?!? The truth is, you would survive if you were alone. But there’s likely someone out there who will love all of you. Either way, you’ll be okay. Keep moving forward.

Control your thoughts

When we allow fear to control our thoughts, we cannot see past whatever we are afraid of. We believe there is no way out. However, when we learn how to control our thoughts, we can see fear for exactly what it is, an unpleasant emotion.

We can then challenge that unpleasant emotion by focusing on what we want to happen, instead of what we don’t. The things that we focus on are what actually happen in our lives. So, let’s start to focus on the positives. Let’s look towards our future confidently, and remember that fear does not have to hold us back any longer. We can feel the fear and do it anyway.

With love,

P.S. – If you’re still struggling with fear, listen to this podcast by the Life Coach School!

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